


Piss Off Your Parents, Baby!

by bambihaven



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Boys In Love, Eddie Kaspbrak - Freeform, IT 2017 - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Reddie, Richie Tozier - Freeform, band au kind of, benverly - Freeform, i hate tagging things but it’s fine, oh god oh no, reddie smut oh god, stanlonbrough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-05 22:38:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18375500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bambihaven/pseuds/bambihaven
Summary: the first time eddie brings richie tozier home to his mother, it’s just to spite her. to show her he’s an adult, and these are the people he associates with. richie’s twenty to his eighteen, covered in tattoos, smokes, and make dirty jokes to sonia’s face. the whole shabang. eddie knows though, that he’ll end up with someone more to his mother’s liking, besides the fact that they’ll be a man. it won’t be richie. richie’s everything eddie hates. he’s crass, loud, and his friends are weird. and the entire deal was just to make his mother mad.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr!!! @heyotozier and we can be buds!

“yeah. yes, mom i’ll be home. okay. see you.” a warbled ‘i love you!’ came from the phone as his thumb pressed the red button. eddie slid the phone onto his nightstand, rubbing his eyes. it was four in the morning, his mother had really called him at four to make sure he’d be home with a date for spring break. he sat up, chewing the tip of his thumbnail. sonia knew he was gay, although she hoped it was fake. (it wasn’t.) he picked the phone back up, typing a quick message to his friends.

hey. are you all up? my mom just fucking called and said she wanted me to drag someone home with me for break and i can’t exactly conjure up a boyfriend. 

ben’s reply came first, helpful as usual.

I’m up! I might know some guys, I think there are a couple that might like you in my frat. 

eddie replied quickly, his thumbs flying.  
thank you! please talk to them for meeeee 

Bill Denbrough at 4:13 AM  
i think i might know someone.  
who?  
you know that friend i have? stanley?  
the one you’ve been fucking  
no. but yes. he’s in a band with a couple of his friends and their singer looks like the type of guy you’d fawn over.  
i’m not even gna ask what you mean by that. can i meet him.  
they’ve got a gig tomorrow at seven. i’ll pick you up at 6:45.  
you’re never that punctual. stan’s dick must be good.  
goodnight eddie 

eddie ran a hand through his hair, putting his phone back down on the table and rolling over, imagining what this guy must look like. clean cut, he hoped. for his mother’s sake. he started to fall asleep again, clutching his pillow tightly. 

the next day was saturday, eddie sleeping in accordingly. he got up, cleaned his dorm, and started off for work. he was a waiter at a diner on his campus, the college in return giving him financial aid. not long after opening the place, he observed an obscenely tall man saunter in, plopping into a booth, and waiting. eddie walked over, a pot of coffee in his hand. the man had a number of odd tattoos, and a nose ring, his dark curls tied back into a sloppy bun. the man was very attractive to him for some reason, he didn’t usually like people that were as pale as bone as wore hawaiian shirts like someone’s senile granddad on the beach. 

“what can i do for you, sir?” eddie asked, pulling his order pad out from his back pocket. “a lot.” the man grinned, reclining as best he could in the booth. “but, ah- orange juice. and blueberry pancakes.” eddie jotted it down, turning on his heel to leave. but before he could, the man spoke again. “i’m richie by the way. and you’re very cute.”  
richie was still smiling, looking at eddie when he turned around. “thanks. and the pancakes come with a side. bacon or ham.” he smiled a little too when he asked, the dimple on his right cheek deepening.  
“ham’s fine.” 

as the day progressed, the man called richie hung in that same booth, shamelessly flirting with eddie every chance he got. he left around five, tipping generously and shutting the door with a wink eddie’s way. eddie rolled his eyes, wiping down a booth and clocking out at five-forty-three. he got back to the dorms, his phone buzzing with texts from bill and ben. 

to Bill Denbrough and Ben Hanscom at 6:07pm

don’t u dare forget about tonight eddie  
i’m going too! we’ll be there at 6:45!  
i’m not gonna forget. i’ll see you then! bye!

contrary to popular belief, i’m not always late. eddie thought, unlocking the door to his single to change, and probably brush his teeth. he changed out of his work clothes, putting on a peach colored t shirt tucked into high waisted jeans, his jacket around his waist. a knock came at the door, expectantly. he answered, looking up at a very impatient bill. “you look good. c’mon, ben’s waiting in the taxi and the driver’s an asshole! let’s go!” eddie followed him out the door, running to the elevator behind him. “why are you in such a hurry?” he asked, out of breath and reaching for his inhaler. when he was a child they’d been fake, but running track in highschool and now for his college, it was definitely real. 

the question answered itself as soon as they got into the yellow cab waiting for them outside. “what took so long? i don’t have all day.” the taxi driver said scathingly, glaring at the three in his mirror. “sorry, sir.” bill said, elbowing ben, who was doing his best to stifle a laugh.

a drumroll played when they walked into bill’s (boy)friend’s gig, the singer launching enthusiastically into beverly hills, by weezer. the voice sounded familiar, like eddie had heard it before. the place was cool at least, decorated with photos of all the famous people that had played or just walked into the place. “holy shit, is that yoko?” ben said, marveling at the pictures. “come on, th-they’ve already started.” bill hurriedly said, practically dragging the both of them into the larger room where the band was. 

eddie knew the keyboardist, stanley already, looking at the other three. the drummer was a very handsome dark-skinned man who seemed to be laughing at something, his smile lighting up the room. the guitarist was female, eddie noticed, the only one out of all of them. she was really attractive too, a face full for freckles and a head full of fiery red hair. her back was pressed to the singer’s, and eddie looked to him next, realizing just why he sounded so familiar. “richie.” he muttered, his mind running with everything he was thinking. they finished the song, and richie met eddie’s state from across the room. his smile turned into a full on smirk, whispering something to the guitarist, who in turn told stan, who in turn told mike. “you know him?” ben asked, seeing the shared gaze and poking eddie’s side. “not quite.” eddie replied, snapping out of it. “the guitarist’s name is bev, i think. we’ve talked once or twice. she’s… something. i like her.” ben smiled, looking up at her on the stage. 

“you should talk to her after this. i think you’d-“ eddie started, stopping when bev started playing, before the rest of them.  
“Girl, you really got me goin'  
you got me so I don't know what I'm doin'  
yeah, you really got me now  
you got me so I can't sleep at night  
yeah, you really got me now,  
you got me so I don't know what I'm doin', now  
oh, yeah! you really got me now,  
you got me so I can't sleep at night  
you really got me!  
you really got me!  
you really got me!” 

they were good, eddie had to admit. he looked at richie again, who had been staring him down as he sang, that same shit eating grin on his face. 

“see, don't ever set me free  
I always wanna be by your side  
girl, you really got me now!  
you got me so I can't sleep at night  
yeah, you really got me now  
you got me so I don't know what I'm doin', now  
oh yeah, you really got me now  
you got me so I can't sleep at night  
you really got me!  
you really got me!  
you really got me. oh no!” 

beverly’s fingers danced across her instrument, dancing as she played against richie’s back again. 

“see, don’t ever set me free  
i always wanna be by your side  
girl, you really got me now!  
you got me so i can’t sleep at night  
yeah, you really got me now  
you got me so i don’t know what i’m doin’, now  
oh, yeah! you really got me now!  
you got me so i can’t sleep at night  
you really got me!  
you really got me!  
you really got me!  
oh, yeah!”

“we’ve got time for one more song before the owner kicks us out on our asses! we’re gonna take it a little slower on you all.” richie said into the mic, simply giving a nod to stanley this time, who picked up a bass, pressing play on a backing track on the keyboard. after their set was over, they came to mingle in the crowd, their things being loaded into a van out back. “so you like r-richie.” bill said, sitting at a table, stan and mike beside him, respectively. “no. i do not. we’ve met. once. and that’s all. he’s not my type.” eddie laughed nervously, feeling an arm around his shoulders. 

“that’s not what you were saying earlier.” richie chuckled, looking down at him. “you should take me out sometime, richie. you seem like fun!” he said, making his voice high and nasally, and poking eddie in the ribs. “i do not sound like that.” eddie said, shoving richie’s hand away. “dear god i need a drink.” 

one thing about eddie kaspbrak is that alcohol gives him confidence. another is that he is a lightweight. two cans of mike’s hard lemonade later, and he’s openly flirting with richie. and richie was eating it up.

“you know, when i said you’re not my type earlier, i was lying. big time.” lucky for eddie, richie was just as drunk. “i know.” richie said, cocking his head to the side, studying the structure of eddie’s face. “what even are you? because you’re definitely not human.” eddie’s nose crinkled, but he laughed. “i don’t know. i’m just as confused as you are.” 

“do you want to meet my mom? i need to have a person come home with me. for spring break. and you’re nice.” eddie blurted, realizing it was a bad idea the second he said it. “sure. i got nothin to do.” richie shrugged. oh no. eddie thought, his leg starting to bounce. she’s gonna kill me. she’s gonna hate him, he’s- too much. the tattoos, the piercings, the HAIR- 

“okay.” eddie smiled, much more nervously than he intended.

that night, as he laid in his bed, every bad thing imaginable ran through eddie’s head.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> skldkdjdjfhfhd hey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me on tumblr @heyotozier

what if this is revenge? eddie thought, a wicked smile growing in his mind. she’ll hate him. i’m an adult, i’ll date who i want, and she needs to know that. this is proof. that i’m not her little boy anymore. 

the next week, they were back at the little dive bar, listening to trashmouth. they were good, eddie had to admit, and richie on the stage was- well, fucking hot. he tried not to think about his hands on the mic and his guitar sometimes, and the way he halfway smiled into the song, and the way his hair fell into his face unless he tied it back. 

“tell me about spring break.” richie said, grabbing a bottle of water and sitting at the stool beside of eddie at the bar. “well, we’ll have to drive there. it’s about five hours away. and we’re staying the week with my mom. don’t listen to a word she says.” 

“and she knows we’re not actually dating, right? unless you want to be, gorgeous.” richie looked like he was holding back a laugh, running a hand through his hair, which was down that night. eddie gulped. he (richie) was wearing a purple vest with absolutely nothing under it, and a pair of bell bottoms that rode low on his hips. the tattoos that decorated his chest and arms were visible, and god, all of it was absolutely killing eddie.“you look like a cheap mix of freddie mercury and jimi hendrix.”

“is that your way of telling me i look like sex on a stick?” eddie exhaled, a smile creeping onto his lips. “i have a test tomorrow. goodnight, richie.” 

that night, as eddie laid in bed, richie had crept into his head again. they were in a van, it looked like, the slow bass of some woodstock bullshit playing in the background. richie was rocking into eddie with deep, meaningful thrusts, the cabin rocking with them. eddie was moaning, panting, grabbing for whatever he could of richie. richie was big. in his dream, at least. one of dream-richie’s larger hands crept around his throat, drawing a whine from eddie. he could feel richie in his chest, he felt like. the coil in his lower stomach got tighter with every one of richie’s hard ruts forward, and then he woke up. sweating and wide eyed. 

the next week went by fast. more small talk between the two of them, and surprisingly, facetime calls.

“no fucking way! i don’t believe that for a second, you’re such a liar, richie tozier!” eddie laughed, folding his freshly done laundry with richie’s face on his phone screen. “i’m dead serious. she looked me right in the eyes and told me that i was a dead ringer for glen fucking close. i’ve never wanted to perish more, spaghetti.” richie grinned. “you’re not even close.” eddie said, sitting down and looking to the camera. 

“so tell me about this mom of yours.”   
eddie let out a breath, twirling a pen around his fingers. “she- well, when i was younger, like three i think? my dad died. really rare form of bone cancer. i didn’t really know him. but i think when he died it sort of killed whatever person was left in my mom. she sort of started gaining weight? and not that that’s a bad thing, but she just never stopped. she binged like crazy. and then, she started giving me pills. i was kind of a sick baby. she said i still was. there were fake inhalers, the pills were all sugar. you know the um- gypsy rose blanchard case? like that. but to a smaller degree. munchausen by proxy. i’m fine now. she’s gotten better, i suppose. she wants me married with kids. doesn’t exactly approve of me being gay either.”

richie finally spoke. “that’s no excuse for what she did to you. it sounds like you barely had a childhood, eds. did you live in a tower,too?” richie joker, trying to mask how terrible he felt. eddie laughed softly too, grateful for the lightening. “almost. she’d lock me in my room after eight and ben and bill would come rescue me off my balcony. church every sunday and wednesday. i think that’s probably a good enough rundown. how ‘bout your parents?”

“dad’s a dentist. mom’s a first grade teacher. they met in highschool, because my mom got made fun of. she’s from italy, and her accent hasn’t really worn off. dad and i think it’s charming, but they didn’t. so they fell in love after hating eachother, eloped, and had me. they didn’t understand me as a kid, really. they’re getting better. i think mom wanted a girl. they still don’t understand all the way. we’ve never really had a good relationship per se, but we’re doing okay. they love me, even if i’m still a mystery to figure out to them. now tell me about what you were like as a kid.”

 

“a buzzkill and a tattletale. i wanted to spend every second with either bill, if my grandma. i don’t know much about her anymore, or even if she’s still alive, but she’s from colombia, and when i was little she was the sweetest lady ever. she and my mom got in a fight when i was five, and i never saw her again. but anyways, i carried that fuckin’ inhaler around with me in a fannypack like a middle aged woman at disney world.” richie laughed, a big smile, all teeth, on his face. 

“okay, now you. i want to hear what the trashmouth himself was like as a little shithead kid.” 

“i was exactly that. i was so fucking loud and a perv and annoying!” richie said, his fingers drumming on his desk. “i used to do these accents too, and annoyed the piss out of stan and bev. i said i wanted to be a comedian. i was also a HUGE perv. i found a playgirl on the street and playboys in my dad’s closet, it was the best of both worlds…”

by the end of their conversation, eddie was wheezing with laughter, laying in his floor. “i was such a terrible kid! i was rude to literally everyone but bill and just an all around little bitch!” he said, looking at richie in the camera. 

“i think you sound absolutely perfect.”


End file.
